Death Incarnate: My Road To Hell

11 05 2009

So dare you ask, what nightmares plauge me? Of love won and love lost, of life and death in the heart? Oh how I fell, hitting the dirt so hard. Oh how I wept at the sorrow growing within. Why I ask? Why the fuck do you rob me of the only happiness I’ve had since my depression? Am I merely a plaything for Your amusement? Do you smile at my destruction? Does my pain feed your joy?

So perhaps I had gotten over my loss…..until the dreams returned, and a simple message from prophetshands that I just found today. Who could it be but none other than my heart’s desire? Do you come seeking to repair what you’ve done? Or do you come to plant that final stake into my heart? Or maybe you just want my friendship, which you also cast away at the time of our sundering.

I tell myself I care no more, I can move on, that I feel no more pain. But I was wrong. The very first true love I could ever have departed, leaveing me all alone again.

Maybe my life means nothing in this world, perhaps I should finally accept reapers conclusion that my dream is a delusion.

Can I ever go back and save our bond? Can the love ever be repaired? Will I ever see your beautiful face again? Why do questions such as these plague my heart? I miss your sweet embrace….

I pray for death, I pray for life, I pray for love won and love lost.

If it can be repaired or even started over I would have hope again. But for now I must silently suffer and pray my misery ends.

Somehow I haven’t been discovered concerning my school work. The deadline is May 22nd, the day of my death is set lest a miracle be found….