Keep Moving Forward……

29 09 2008

because you can never change the past by dwelling in it. That is how I will find a brighter future, and maybe just maybe I can change things for the better.


Then again its hard to do with that emptiness inside. But I cant be afriad.


I Remember….

26 09 2008

A time when I would post something that kicked ass. Then again I used to care. I need to find that care again. I wonder where it went? Ah well, I tried, just sitting around my comp bored to death. What kind of thing was I usually doing at this hour? Oh yeah…….too bad those days are gone.

You Have to Understand……

22 09 2008

Its a hard life I’m going through.

Decayedsoul: New Management

19 09 2008

Ever since my dark side took over my soul I keep having these dreams, its been a long ass time since I have had so many strung together. The first few were mostly about being pissed at losing, as the old posts explain.

But the recent ones……do I really believe I can achieve MGD? This is foolish, but apparently my dark side is insane. Perfect.

Bullshit Like This……..

18 09 2008

Is why the world is so rotten. I especially hope the racists and their kind get a good look and see what is so wrong in themselves. This kind of thing cuts both ways……

Tribute to a Special Friend

17 09 2008

First of all, anything you may have heard I might have done was an elaborate scheme on my part to find out information so I could finally understand things I didn’t and so that I could get the right perspective on things. Thats really all I needed to finally move on. Anyways, this is not about me. I do however appreciate those who have shown me they understood that what we had was special.


What can I say? We were searching for something, and the forces that be let us find one another. We pulled each other out of the darkness and into the light. You gave me a reason to live, you gave me hope in this world. Because of you, I decided to come out of my stupor and live once more! I cannot list all the things we’ve done for each other that helped our own souls out greatly, all I can say is that they are forever.

This pathetic excuse for a dragon must have caused you such pain. I got arrogant and ignorant many times. They say only my will and strength kept it going, I say my will and strength was fueled by your own. I was blessed to enter a union of love with someone as special as you. Although I may never have breached the physical aspects of things, everywhere else I was there first. Although we were so far apart, our bond was stronger than everyone elses.

I am not ashamed of the things we’ve done, for did we not love? All things done in love are pure and sacred no matter what anyone says. Few understood, even less wanted to. We did though. We knew. Even though it is not going to live on in this life, the time we had was a time that the world smiled upon us both, and perhaps those who were like us and faced so much adversity.

My only regret (truthfully this time as I am not in turmoil inside and spraying nonsense and desperation) is that I could not have been with you more, especially as soon as I got that dreadful email of yours. (Note: invent teleportation or something) I also am not angry, this isn’t some fairy tale world, I cannot expect a perfect ending. I do not ask forgiveness, I have done nothing wrong, I only take responsibility for my mistakes and I will learn from them should I ever be in another situation like this in some other existence.

Do not pity us, our love was bound for tragedy the longer it took us to be together. Is it not recording in history and toyed with in our plays?

You above all, stood true to your beliefs whether you think so or not, my special friend. Even though they ultimatly rejected me after keeping me a part of them for so long, they never once faltered, even during those “crisis” situations.

Your method was what I read “soemthing someone of questionable character” would do, but I do not blame you, as I would have easily held it together if it was done the way our safeguard required. If I was in your position, I would have done the same honestly.

I burned everything I have of us, except something that was addressed to “Draxy” and the “Tome of KB”. I keep these because they will always remind me of the good (and by far it outweighs the bad) of our once happy life. I now end this chapter of my life.

Please find happiness my special friend, I would be devastated to learn you were miserable or in pain. Do not let anyone take advantage of you, for they are my enemy and I would have them destroyed, regardless of whether you still care for this ugly dragon you once inspired to greatness.